1/3rd a Lawyer.....

So, the grades are in. The summer has begun. Clerkship has started. 1L year is officially over. 




I have survived. I am happy. I am content. I did it. 


This year has been a whirlwind of stress and emotions but I conquered it. When I thought I couldn't do it, I proved that I could. 


I did not give up. I showed up and showed out. 


There aren't enough words to express who happy I am. 


Thank you to my husband Corey who is an amazing support system. Thank you to my mom who is my #1 supporter. Thank you to my son Jae for not chastising me for not being around as much :)


Thank you to Amy Brammell for being the best Twin Best Friend a girl can have. If I didn't have someone to share in this experience and allow me to lean on you at my low points, I may not have come out of this. 


Thank you to all the wonderful people I met this year. Raniyah, Dibora, Whit, Whip, Julie, Elizabeth, Lia, Greg, Shayan, Patty, Susan, Jocelyn, Leo, Veronica, Tiff, Brandon, Melanie, Adam, Olya ;), Camille, Jerrica, De, Del, Lafa, Kristen, Jimmy, and soooo many more people. 

Suspect

My beautiful baby boy who is spoiled and sheltered is already a suspect. He was born a suspect in this world. It is hard for me to listen to my peers who justify stereotyping blacks when they have never had to be black a day in their life. I do not want to be that angry black woman. It is not me but I am that WOMAN who will speak out against stereotypes and racism everyday of my life. I love human kind. I am not racist. You can't be on the outside looking in passing judgment against me who you don't know struggles. 


I would speak out for anyone whether they are brown, white, green, yellow or red. When I speak out or speak up for the African American community then I am being overly sensitive. 


Walk in my skin and see how long your views stay the same. 

Spring Break

Oh how I have waited for Spring break.....


Plans of going away, waking up late, and doing nothing. 


Now Spring Break arrives and guess what? I am still up early, working hard and at the school for three days of my break....


What a joke! LOL




But all in all, I appreciate the great weather in Chicago this week and the opportunity to get organized and recap all that I have learned this semester to improve from last semester. There is always room for improvement and I am enjoying my leisure time and my ability to get on top of things. 

Never will I fall......

Some people attack your integrity, try to pull you down, diminish your character. I have really felt the weight of negative energy swirling around me and instead of folding I continue to stand firm. 


People's opinions of me does not move me. It will not deter me from my path. It has only opened my eyes further. I regret allowing it inside my head. 


I wanted to give up. I felt defeated. It only lasted briefly. 


This is not me. I don't trip over obstacles I run around them. Never again will I allow the poison of disdain, anger, negativity, and ignorance seep inside my soul. 


I have grown from this experience and emerged a lot stronger and wiser. 


Thank you for giving me that push. It is all I needed. 

1L 2nd semester

So now is the time to evaluate what you did good or bad last semester and make some changes. 


This is a new semester, different classes but you now have experience under your belt. If you did good then you know how to manage and keep doing well. If you did less than satisfactory, it is only up from here. (Hopefully)


This new semester I have five classes, two volunteer positions and less money. At the least my stress level has elevated but I know what is needed. I know what needs to be adjusted. What worked and what did not work. 


I never learned how to properly study because my ability to understand new concepts have been great so far. This is something new. I tried new ways to study and some worked and some didn't. I was one of those students who went to class, studied for exams the night before and got a effect score. This isn't undergrad and I can't do that. I didn't do that but I still was unsure on how to properly study or if my method of studying was good or not. 


Grades were not perfect but they weren't bad either. I did good for my 1st semester and I am excited to do even better this new semester. I am more confident, have little bit more knowledge and some new techniques under my belt. 


I vow to make this semester my best of the year. First week was chaotic but glad to be in this position. Pursuing my dreams, completing my goals and expanding my knowledge. 

High Expectations

I was speaking to an incoming 1L and he was buying books at the SBA book sale. He needed a little help find his books so I helped him out. He told me who his teachers were and found out he has my same section. I began to give him advice on the teachers on what not to do, what to expect and the ends and outs and he kept stating "Oh I'm not worried, I was a great student in Undergrad". 


It took me to experience my 1st semester of law school to be able to say to him. "This is nothing like Undergrad". Law School is totally new experience. You don't come in prepared for law school. You can't expect to be a straight A student because when you get your first C your world as you know it may come crashing down. 


I understood where he was coming from. That was me last August. School has never been a challenge for me. I am a perfectionist but in law school I faced reality. I lowered my expectations so that I can see what I needed to improve and grow from my experience. 


Had I kept my expectations high, not getting an A in a class I felt I should have gotten an A would have prevented me from comprehending what I did wrong and how to go forth. That is not something someone can tell you because you will not receive what someone is telling you. 


I did not try to tell him to lower his expectations. Me and a friend reminded him that almost everyone in Law School was a straight A student but not everyone can get a A because Law School has a mandatory curve. Maybe he listened, maybe he didn't. Come June he will understand all to well what we meant.

2nd shot at being a litigator

Ok, so the verdict is back and I don't suck after all. I gave up before truly trying. I am not a quitter and I don't fold under pressure. Its just not me. So after prying myself for an hour I tried it again and I got a page full. It isn't perfect but it is a great start. I get nervous speaking but never at writing so this was a new experience for me. The funny thing is that I participated in a Mock Trial before and I have done opening, closing, direct and cross and I actually did pretty good. I received tuition money for it as well. I have decided that there is still a chance of being a litigator. 

No litigation for me

So I am sitting here trying to draft up a closing argument for a Mock Trial I am involved in. Then it hits me...


I am not cut out to be a litigation attorney. Yes I love to write and I can be a bit dramatic at times but to sit here and write a performance, I just cannot do it.


I feel that I should have went to acting school before law school. I don't know what to say, how to say it and how to prevent myself from stuttering and babbling like an idiot. The verdict is still out but as of right now, no litigation for me.


HELP!




So a friend sent me a link to a leadership building group and I think I just may take a look. I want to be confident when I speak because I am confident when I write. Thanks for the link Louise! 

Winter Break

Ok, so winter break is finally here. Final are behind you and you are living the life. Waking up as late as you want. No where important to be but then it hits you.

Grades will be here soon. Job applications don't fill out themselves. Scholarships and fellowships want you to conjure up a miracle also known as a law school transcript and panic sits in.

Winter break should be relaxing, or just a BREAK.

In reality, it is disguised as pandemonium and a cover letter fiesta. I have typed 25 cover letters and still feel behind.

Winter break has let me down completely. I have one grade so far and my anxiety has jumped to an all time high.

Why even give them one at a time???

To drive me crazy. That is why.

One more week and I am back to hibernation.

Can I have a minimum of at least two more weeks???????

Diversity in Law School

One of my law school friends felt that I needed to touch on this topic. I promised her I would write my thoughts today so here you go....

Yes. Law School is a culture shock. Me being African American, students in my classes have always looked like me, sound like me, dressed similar and had customs like mine.

In Law School I am truly a minority. I never walked through life and felt like the minority because in my schools, neighborhoods and jobs, there were plenty of people that look like me.

I stepped into orientation and realized I am not on the South Side of chicago anymore. I saw maybe 10-15  faces like mine. But I digress because that is not what is important. I came to get a law degree and thats what I am doing. I refuse to dwell on the issue of being a statistical figure. I am more than a small percentage of minorities allowed in. I deserve to be in Law School as well as all of my fellow minority class mates.

There are times where being a minority resurfaces and is thrown in my face. I had a young lady put some very degrading comments on "How to impersonate a black women". The impersonation used did not contain proper english, sounding very ignorant illiterate and stereotistical. It made me angry. I never want to be the victim not am I sensitive and on the fence about being a minority. But to be so insensitive can be sickening.

It has not been so bad. One of my closets friends is from law school does not look like me but its not a factor. I don't see my class mates as a race or different shades of skin color. It is hard when you have insensitive people who make broad generalizations about african americans in your presence but it does not hold me back. It does not affect me because their limitations from being ignorant and blinded is their problem not mine.

I don't see color, I see individuals. Yes, I joined the Black Law Student Association and I have an unspoken bond with the other black students but its just from the mutual respect and journey we share.

Being a minority in law school is not a handicap. I am proud of who I am but my skin color does not define me nor shape my experiences or success. You can stand up for yourself but don't allow being different hinder your success. Embrace your experiences, allow them to shape your outlook but look past the negative experiences.

1L....stands for LACK of sleep!

Law school isn't extremely hard. The work is not too hard to grasp. yes, in the beginning the work is different, confusing and seems to be written in a foreign language. After a month or maybe two, it is not confusing. You can grasp the concepts just fine but your sleep schedule disappears. I find myself taking naps. I have never taken naps in the day time. Now I look forward to my day time naps. They always tell you law school is a lot of work but that has to be the understatement of the century.


My schedule: Wake up, get my son ready for school, catch the bus, sit in class, study in the library, go to my next class, go home and prepare for the next day, go to sleep at some point and start over all over again. But...that is only if there is no meetings or events that requires my presence. Don't let me get to the importance of networking, which forces me to choose, networking or sleeping.....I have chosen networking and the connections I have made have been great but my sleep is near obsolete. 


My time is occupied for every minute of my day. That is what makes Law School so demanding. Everything has to be written down, and followed. I have a million planners, dry erase boards and calendars. Nothing is absolute. I can plan every second of my day but I will forget something until the last minute or hit with a last minute request which ruins my schedule.


Once upon a time I was a morning person. I got up at 6:30- 7:00 a.m. and would be sleep no later than 11:00 p.m. Now I have discovered insomnia, late nights up finishing my readings because I don't get home until late and must cook dinner and get my son ready for school and talk to my husband to stay married. Law School takes hard work and dedication which I have to give but overall it is time consuming and a huge mystery.


I need SLEEP!

1L....I am not about that life!

My very first semester doing what I always knew I would...becoming an attorney. Six years old with the dream of being an attorney who does hair on the side, now twenty years later, my dreams are attainable. I began a little over two months ago, I began confused and excited. Now I understand more and much more comfortable but so overwhelmed. My schedule is non existent just like my social life. Juggling my son, husband, school work, and the different organizations I am involved in, has been nothing short of time consuming. It is not a matter of law school being hard, it just requires hard work. Keeping up with readings, outlines and my schedule of things to get done has made my life so much less appeasing. 


But with all that said, I am even more excited to have start this journey and so much closer to living my dream! 


Goodnight until I find another free Saturday night to blog......